Spark Inside reignited who I am
My journey hasn’t been easy. Growing up I was the youngest of four, and by my early teens, it was just me and my mum at home. I’d already had contact with the justice and care systems and by the time I was 12, I’d been arrested and sentenced. I remember sitting in probation buildings, alongside 17-year-olds, thinking – “What am I doing here?”
Troubled teenage years
Then the relationship with my mum got a bit strained, so I went into care. By 16, I was in prison for the first time, right before my GCSEs, which I never got to take. I’d always liked school and loved learning – I just talked too much. I’d finish the work, then chat, entertain everyone.
When I came out, I tried to turn things around – I went to college, got my Level 2s, and found out I was going to be a dad. But I didn’t know I was entitled to any support as a care leaver or young parent. I didn’t trust the system, and turned to selling drugs to support myself. By the time my son was one-year-old, I was fully immersed.
Repeating patterns
I was on the run for a couple of years and then ended up back inside. I got three years and came out after 18 months in 2022.
It should have been a happy day, but when I got released it felt like stepping into a storm. Months of life’s problems just waiting for me – housing, money, being a dad, the whole lot. I fell back into old patterns selling drugs.
It was the only thing I knew how to do. No GCSEs, been to prison, a black man in London – who’s going to hire me? I had a lot of self-doubt. I soon found myself back in prison.
“…when I got released it felt like stepping into a storm. Months of life’s problems just waiting for me – housing, money, being a dad, the whole lot.”
The turning point
It took two back-to-back sentences to finally say to myself ‘enough’. I was in a really dark place. I’d stopped seeing any of the good in myself.
Then I heard about Spark Inside and their Hero’s Journey programme. At first I was really apprehensive. In prison, talking about emotions in a group setting isn’t exactly the norm. But I took the leap and went along.
The first thing I noticed was the snacks. That might sound silly, but when you’re in prison, it’s the little things that show you someone’s actually thought about you.
The Hero’s Journey session was different from anything I’d done before. We did this activity called ‘possiping’ – positive gossiping – which means that everyone says something good about you.
It felt weird, but also powerful. It really brought home how long it had been since someone had genuinely been kind to me. And that felt good.
“To have such a beautiful connection and conversations, to find such beauty in such a dark place is really special. My coach helped me rediscover the good in me – the stuff I’d forgotten.”
Reshaping my future
After that, I opted for the weekly one-to-one coaching. My coach created a safe space for me to let my guard down and just be myself. Sometimes we’d talk about everyday stuff, other times about my hopes, fears and where I wanted to go in life.
She never told me what to do – she just asked the right questions that helped me work it out for myself. I remember one time she asked me to look at my reflection and say positive things about myself. I was shaking, in my head I’m thinking, “I’m a mess”. But by the end of our sessions, I was reeling off affirmations.
Being in prison you’re in one of the worst places in the world. A step lower than jail is death. To have such a beautiful connection and conversations, to find such beauty in such a dark place is really special. My coach helped me rediscover the good in me – the stuff I’d forgotten.
“Spark Inside don’t just give you the spark inside, they help you reignite it yourself.”
Making a difference
Now I’m part of Spark Inside’s Champions group. We’re working to influence policy and create real change in the system. We speak to policy makers, making sure they hear directly from people who’ve lived through that experience to help make real, systemic change.
I also design and deliver leadership training for businesses and youth organisations. I’m using everything I’ve been through to make a difference – especially young people who might be walking down the same road I did. I want to be a role model for my son. He’s eight now – cheeky, bright, full of energy. I see a lot of myself in him. I’m determined to guide him with the lessons I’ve learned.
Spark Inside don’t just give you the spark inside, they help you reignite it yourself. They helped me focus on what I want to do, to take all my wild ideas and hone in on my vision. I’m really excited for the future thanks to Spark Inside. If I had to describe them in three words? Energy, compassion and support.
Jason participated in Spark Inside’s Hero’s Journey programme.
