Football Unites, Racism Divides helped me believe in myself
I didn’t have much of a school life. I was bullied badly in secondary school, and after that I just didn’t go very often.
Then I was moved to a new school, and just a month later, I was caught up in the Manchester Arena attack. After that, I didn’t go to school at all. My anxiety spiralled, and I just couldn’t cope.
For a long time, I stayed home and isolated myself. I tried college to study music – something I’ve always loved – but then COVID hit, and everything went online. You can’t learn music properly through a screen. My anxiety got much worse and I had to stop studying again.
A safe and creative place
But then things started to turn around for me when I came to Football Unites, Racism Divides (FURD). I’d first been here when I was about 11 or 12 – my brothers played football here, so it was a place I was familiar with. I had started going to their weekly music studio sessions at the U-Mix hub which has a music studio, dance sessions, a gym – they don’t just do football there.
After the attack I stopped coming, but I always remembered how it felt here. I felt safe and welcomed. Lisa, one of the support workers at FURD, found out I wasn’t doing much, and she reached out. That’s just the kind of person she is. She encouraged me to come back to the music sessions and it felt great. We’d sit around singing random songs and have a laugh. It was a really creative and fun place to be.
Pathway to university
Lisa was so supportive. We spoke about everything, whether it was work, studying or anything in my personal life. She helped me think about what I could do next. I had no idea about access courses or that I could go to university, but Lisa walked me through every step. Even when I wasn’t doing well, she always supported me – she never judged me, she never gave up.
Now I’m studying at Sheffield Hallam University and next term I start a journalism, public relations and media course because I’ve discovered a new love: ice hockey. I started going to games and it was Lisa who encouraged me to take photos and talk to everyone there. I noticed there weren’t many women – or people of colour – in the ice hockey world. That made me want to be part of the change.
FURD has been a big part of why I feel I can do that. What they’ve done with football – bringing people together from all backgrounds and making the sport more inclusive – I want to do that for ice hockey. I want young girls to see someone like me and think, “If she can do it, I can too.”
"I want young girls to see someone like me and think, “If she can do it, I can too."
Taking control of my mental health
This place hasn’t just helped me get my education back on track. It’s also where I’ve had therapy through the Young Women’s Housing Project. My therapist is absolutely amazing. A lot of other services tried to “fix” me, but here, it’s different. Whether it’s struggling with the PTSD or anxiety, she has helped me realise that I’m in control. I’m allowed to feel what I feel, and that’s helped me learn to put boundaries in place and really respect myself.
My therapist is always encouraging me to work on my self-worth. Before, I’d let other people make decisions for me because I didn’t feel confident enough. But now, I feel strong. I’m more assertive, and I don’t see that as a bad thing anymore. It’s powerful.
FURD has given me a space where I’ve felt included and safe – and that is something I never really had before. Everyone here is so kind and open. No one cares where you come from or what you’ve been through, you’re just welcomed.
"This place has completely changed my life. It’s helped me come out of my shell and see a future I didn’t think was possible."
A brighter future
This place has completely changed my life. I used to be so quiet, too anxious to talk to anyone. Now, I chat with everyone – at Uni, at the ice hockey rink, everywhere. It’s helped me come out of my shell and see a future I didn’t think was possible.
The journey hasn’t been easy, but it’s made me stronger. And now, I feel like I can take everything I’ve been through and turn it into something good. I want to help others feel like they belong, just like FURD did for me.
Aaliyah was supported by a programme run by Football Unites, Racism Divides in Sheffield.
